butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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