he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
