Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
