you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
