im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
