my vag is so smooth its legendary
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
did you just send me my own nude
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
