If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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