..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
