i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
me + whiskey = a bad person
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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