This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
