see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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