she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
