He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
