she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
