if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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