Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
