please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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