those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Do you remember whose house we're in?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
