Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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