Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
