I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
