dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
