this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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