it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
