just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
