ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
