How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
