you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
love makes seman taste better
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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