the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
