I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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