I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
