I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
