Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
