This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
