I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
