I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
