Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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