if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
