my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
