what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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