if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
