OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Randomize
