I never want to see another naked old woman again.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
