Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
