My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
