eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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