would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
