Is it because I queefed?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
