Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
