I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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