I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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