He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
