i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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