I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
