dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
