I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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